strange love
even though you hurt me I feel
blessed love
baby I’m your puppet
on a string
making me tumble and swing
trouble’s what you bring
strange love

strange how
you control my every little
move now
hanging from your strings
is all I know
starring in your puppet show
never let me go
strange love

all the things
you’ve said and done
there’s no space
for me to run
baby I’ve lost and you have won
cause’ all I really want is

strange love

I really don’t have any idea why am I writing this mail. May be bcoz I have so much to tell u and u give me no time to share those. I know I have lost u totally and it pains me a lot. I know u do it bcoz u r uncomfortable but I can’t help it. U mean a lot to me now. I thought it’s just a crush and I will get over it after some time but I am just not able to do so. U r just so perfect. I don’t want to ruin ur life. I don’t want to know whether u have any feelings for me or not. All I know is that it is being more and more difficult for me when I see you in front of me. It was not always like this. I never had a feeling for u. The more I have moved away from her the more u came into my life. I just can’t move u out. Actually I don’t even want to. May be I have thought of u as my wife more than a thousand times. Than when I come to the ground and think what the fuck I can do for u than it becomes really difficult for me. I am a poor married guy who loves you. Who is a poor husband and don’t think can either make u happy. You know u r the second person in my life whom I have said that I love u. I thought it will relieve me. But has increased the pain. Now it hurts me all the time before u come to the office. I just keep waiting for ur bag to be in it’s place. I have really no idea of how to cope up with these feelings.

I know u might not read this whole mail and may delete this before opening but I need u to know what u mean to me now.

I wish I have never told u the truth but I would have turned to a mad guy by now. I realize that I have just pulled u in my life though u never asked me for. I am sorry. I just think so much about you. I dream all the time replacing her with u. If I cud have done that for u or this ..etc.. etc.

“I haven’t felt the excitement of listening to as well as creating music, along with really writing . . . for too many years now”. –Kurt Cobain’s suicide note.

“it’s better to burn out than fade away,” —his final words.

where did you sleep last night

My girl, my girl, don’t lie to me,
Tell me where did you sleep last night?

In the pines, in the pines
Where the sun will never shine
I would shiver the whole night through

My girl, my girl, where will you go?
I’m going where the cold wind blows

In the pines, in the pines
Where the sun will never shine
I would shiver the whole night through

Her husband, was a hard working man
Just about a mile from here
His head was found in a driving wheel
But his body never was found

My girl, my girl, don’t lie to me,
Tell me where did you sleep last night?

In the pines, in the pines
Where the sun will never shine
I would shiver the whole night through

My girl, my girl, where will you go?
I’m going where the cold wind blows

In the pines, in the pines
Where the will never shine
I would shiver the whole night through

Love…. what is love???? just feeling??? What happens when you are alone and feels that you need someone immediately then and there. What happens when u need someone to hold you close and you want to kiss and make love. What happens when u don’t care about the person or her background just want a body with which u want to have sex???? What happens if u just and just want to have long love making hours??? Is it bad?? why is it bad???? Who is having the power to decide what is bad and what is not??? I am not trying defend myself by saying all this. I feel it now. I am feeling such an urge from the last few days. I feel like loving someone like mad. Like I need someone now in my arms. Just and just sex. I want to kiss her. I want to explore every part of her body. Don’t care who she is or where is she coming from. I know it is lust. But let it be. I don’t care. I just want to have sex. I need flesh to feel in my arms. I want to go inside someone who also needs me. Who can make me happy.

Once I thought what the big deal about sex. I can calm myself just by shagging. It is total crap. You can never replace a person only with your hand. You need to love someone. You need to feel her breasts in your hand, face, mouth, eyes. Need her arms all over your body. Else it is just a half baked feeling of disappointment. Nature plays it’s own role and irritates you with all it’s games. You feel like dyeing but cant get out of your mask of well mannered guy who is a very good person of honor and culture. What if you have a wife who is unable to give you what you need both emotionally and sexually. What if you fell for someone who doesn’t care how u r after almost 2 months of not seeing each other and  not speaking a word. Nobody cares. Why sud I care? Still I cannot come out my good guy image and ask someone to have sex with me. You will think that why not go to some prostitute and do it. No I can’t. My education, my self-respect won’t let me do that. I will feel ashamed of myself. Will feel like I have done a big mistake.

What am I??? Am I a maniac or mad guy??? What am I???????

I wish I was the ONE who walks away.......

If I Never See Your Face Again

Now as the summer fades 
I let you slip away 
You say I’m not your type 
But I can make you sway

It makes you burn to learn 
You’re not the only one 
I’d let you be if you 
put down your blazing gun

Now you’ve gone somewhere else 
Far away 
I don’t know if I will find you (find you, find you) 
But you feel my breath 
On your neck 
Can’t believe I’m right behind you (right behind you)

‘Cause you keep me coming back for more 
And I feel a little better than I did before 
And if I never see your face again 
I don’t mind 
‘Cause we gone much further than I thought we’d get tonight

Sometimes you move so well 
It’s hard not to give in 
I’m lost, I can’t tell 
Where you end and I begin

It makes me burn to learn 
You’re with another man 
I wonder if he’s half 
The lover that I am

Now you’ve gone somewhere else

Far away 
I don’t know if I will find you (find you, find you) 
But you feel my breath 
On your neck 
Can’t believe I’m right behind you (right behind you)

‘Cause you keep me coming back for more 
And I feel a little better than I did before 
And if I never see your face again 
I don’t mind 
‘Cause we gone much further than I thought we’d get tonight

Baby, baby 
Please believe me 
Find it in your heart to reach me 
Promise not to leave me behind 
(Promise not to leave me behind)

Take me down, but take it easy 
Make me think but don’t deceive me 
Talk to me bout taking your time 
(Talk to me, talk to me)

‘Cause you keep me coming back for more 
And I feel a little better than I did before 
And if I never see your face again 
I don’t mind 
‘Cause we gone much further than I thought we’d get tonight

‘Cause you keep me coming back for more 
And I feel a little better than I did before 
And if I never see your face again 
I don’t mind 
‘Cause we got much further than I thought we’d get tonight